Lately I am spending least possible time with my son, who is generously letting me spend my time as per my requirements – studying, finishing assignments, and top of it worrying about the next phase of life, my job hunt.
IN all this, I pause sometimes to think how he is managing his heart that simply belongs to his mother at the age that he is. When I do get a tiny speck in a day, he tells me about the new lego creation, or what new joke he read in Geronimo Stilton book, or whats new with transformers. And when I hurry up again to leave for my work, he simply obliges with packing my bag and putting my bottle in. My little assistant who is not so little anymore. And I miss him dearly, I wish I could tell him that I hate to be so much away – in the same campus but so far away in thoughts and action!
I wish I could simply leave everything and be with him, enjoying Lego and Geronimo and his new passions. I wish I could give him more attention and streamline his interests by just being there and nudging him when he deviates. I wish so many things and then there are trade offs I signed up for. Because there were bigger trade offs had I not signed up for this.
I am happy he is in an amazing atmosphere where he gets to read 100s of books in a matter of few months, he is listening to management gyaan at 9 years of age and forming his own opinion of how business runs and what’s the best strategy a shop can follow. I am happy he is among the best minds in the country, so he gets the best from the academic and social atmosphere that I could have arranged for him. I am very thankful to God for this one year and I hope he too realizes this when he grows up.
I hope my dear you don’t hold grudges for being away or for being edgy when I was most tense for studies or placement. I am trying to find the right place for you and me, where you get the best this world can offer and I get to spend my life the way it should be. I am very close to finding my calling and living it and hopeful that I will.
I hope you have a life much better sorted than mine and your clarity of thoughts stay with you forever, I just love your creativity, your quick grasp of concepts and your politeness – most of the times. You are a gem that I am blessed with. And when I am all depressed, its your thought that drives me again. I hope all the struggle and sacrifice that you had to make here is worth all the effort. If not for me, God may show me a path that fits right in the scheme of things that work the best for you. I love you mera bachhcha. You are my strength and you are my everything. May God always bless you!
Loads of love!