Mumma why can you see everywhere!

That’s my son’s pet question these days!

And he isn’t happy with my hundred eyes following naughty steps of his! Be him not wearing his clogs, or putting colors everywhere but the right place, or sneaking away with something he shouldn’t!

Just love when he says this beautifully and wins my heart all over again!

In the last three weeks, his antics have gone from 50 to 100 in a day! My hundred eyes are falling short of keeping a tab on his curiosities and adventures! My everyday watch is the first casualty….hoping it’s the last!

:)

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Labelling a child!

Labelling so far is a favourite pass-time of human race. Adam and Eve must have started with labelling trees for the sake of recognition of those and the trend continued till today and forever. The difference is that trait has taken over us and we leave nothing at all un-labeled.

Especially of the things and people who cannot really counter discuss your opinions. Behind the back and on the face, it goes on. Well, that’s the fun part of the blessed tongue.

What bothers me is how we start judging a baby right from the day it arrives in your abdomen. Well, that’s on the  lighter side. It becomes a problem when a baby is growing and depending on his or her moods, interacts or gets cut off from the people around. The only comfort zone being the home, and parents. Some kids open real fast, some take time. At every stage of their growth.

Should we start labelling them, making them feel conscious of who they are or respect their feelings at that moment?

What in general happens is people around send a message to parents, oh! Your child is reserved. He doesn’t interact. He doesn’t like company! And so on and so forth.

Yes, I am talking from my own experience. I wonder if human race was born to be alone…they were born to interact, to communicate, to experiment things. Everyone does, just the timing and atmosphere differs in which they are comfortable expressing their selves.

I am thankful for such ‘judgemental and social’ people around, they just made me more conscious of how I understand others’ kids and respect their attitude in life.

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Cheer-up Mumma!

Last week I was down with high fever, sinusitis and body ache. I was quite miserable with these combinations at play. At one point I couldn’t stop crying in all the restlessness that came with it.

my son came to me with his Thomas and skarloe engines and told me – mumma cheer up, I got you my toys! How can I cheer you up!

His concern was so overwhelming and so reassuring! I didn’t expect him to think so much for a few tears of mine. I had read about kids coming up and comforting parents, especially moms, with their cute talks and toys.

must say, kids have so much compassion in their hearts, we would never know untill we fall sick ;) I loved all the attention he showered on me for the next two days.

Now am alright but he still asks me now n then, your fever is gone? Finally I know what silver lining on a black cloud is!

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The Times of Keeping Secrets!

More often than not, I am caught on the wrong side of secrets. People hide stories and then create stories to hide the original one. It used to amaze me how silly I was to believe in their face value.

then came a phase when used to get upset at people closer to me who prefer to hide their agendas (as small as going on a road trip the following day!!). I would be surprised or say shocked to know that whoa they are gone on a mission they didn’t know about just a few hours back.

now I am content with the fact that this is how 90% of people would lead their lives and that is what life is about.

But the fact remains that I still believe, trust people on their face values. Because that is what I am, I wish diplomacy to the extent of being a double standard person was my way as well. In today’s society, or say culture, it’s the dubious nature that paves way for success in any sphere of life. Even my housemaid takes out my help by hiding the crucial facts and then expects to find a solution.

Where is it leaving us? This makes it important or say critical to teach our kids that hey never tell the truth. Keep it to your self and reveal it when you can shock people, make them believe that you have made a johny out of them! Accept it or not, we need to teach this to our children to survive in the cut throat competition that exists in about every moment of life that is spent interacting with people – in or out of home!

Before you judge me, think about it!

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Raising a human being!

In the contest of playing blue and pink right from the time we conceive, it’s often overlooked that the pink blue arriving shortly is a human being after all. In many countries including mine, pinks are given the baton of the household chores while the blues have the fair share of luxury of being pampered even in the lowest of income groups.

In the last four years of being a parent to the blue or the pampered gender, I cannot help but notice that the person I am raising is a normal human being born by the same method as a pink is and is no different in his attitude towards me compared to that of a girl towards her parents. He loves or say is obsessed to HELP me out in all my chores that I started doing because I am no more a ‘working’ woman, rather I have a 24/7 job at home.

So this little man that I am raising has no qualms about being the BOY that he is. He doesn’t think twice before taking the stirrer in a cake batter or making a flat bread for himself (the cute kiddish version of course) or washing his lil socks all by himself. He snatches all these things from me if I have any sort of resistance. And then I see him jumping like a monkey here and there, playing with the cars, tracks, play doh, watching Sofia the first, octonauts, handy manny, Mickey Mouse, bow toons! Yes he watches all that a kid his age does.

I have not bought him the toys that I think are good for a boy! I got him what he asked for and also those that I think will encourage his creativity. The dolls  went out of the picture couple of years back even though he admires those with his cousins.

So where does this gender biased attitude comes up in the boys and girls. I think It’s we who inject the stereotypes beginning at home. The wife does her job of getting up early, cooking the lunch, breakfast, tiffin, and what not before she can take care of her own self. Be it getting ready for office, or sipping a cup of tea at peace. The child begins to think that come what may, a lady has to grow up and do these things for the family. The boy child aspires to be like the daddy he sees everyday – office, TV, rest, going out in the evening! And the mom – office, household chores, soothing the child, getting homework done, etc etc and yes, serving the dinner/lunch too whenever she is available.

We think the stereotypes are changing but it’s a big NO. I am a good example of that and I have hundreds in my knowledge who are still following up with this tradition of the men wearing the pants and women the apron. I have done away with cooking except for my son, but still most chores at home are taken care by myself, homework, play time, tv time, all that is my responsibility (which can be joyful and stressful at the same time). Women take up the whole or most part of the responsible for their child, even when husband is around. To remind that I am an engineer and an MBA who had an awesomely paying job five years back, it would not make any difference as am at home now!

I chose to stay back because my son needs the two of us. Slowly am realising that he is getting the same unconscious upbringing that I didn’t  want to give – that women are made for the home job and men are the breadwinners. I am torn between the right and wrong of it. I will make rules for sure but it won’t change the mindset that am slowly imbibing in my son, who as of now is minus any prejudices. But one thing that I can do is to make him aware of the equality that the genders share.

Only a child knows that all humans are equal, when we grow up we fall into the traps of society’s expectations and do things as they want us to do. I don’t want a girl to fight like boys and I don’t want boys to be soft voiced like girls. Just being a human being respectable of each other’s life’s choices is what we need to tell them. They will get influenced by the society – our parents, school teachers, friends, their families, TV etc but end of the day, they will imbibe what we will keep injecting into their minds.

A little extra respect, shared chores and compassion at home towards each other (husband wife) will make them so secure and nurture them beyond words. The same human being will go on to create the next generation with such lovely qualities of respecting others irrespective of their gender.

This is all we need – respecting each other and our choices irrespective of our gender. Love will follow!

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Back to ‘real’ life!

Yesterday evening we got back to home from parents’ home, or say from free land ;)

the day I reach there, I start counting my days back! So much I had planned to do but sadly didn’t implement al, of it. Time flies, I become slugging and relax as much as I can. Wonder how much relaxation my mind needs when am away from my real home :)

my son was so excited yesterday, upon reaching the station he was literally jumping on hubby who had reached here 6 days earlier. So the little man was missing his bigger stronger version a lot. Something that these kids don’t express untill they get back to the person they were missing so far. And I have seen many kids behaving the same manner. This gives the impression to others around that kids don’t really love the parent who is away, which is so wrong!

wonder how this bond between parents and their child is so strong even if they are separated for long. It’s amazing, magical, miraculous!

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When the going gets…complicated!

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year!

ironically the new year comes in a package of good and bad news. One friend is starting a new project next week and the other is frantically looking for a new job before the company axes him out with no time for him to react, as they have done with many other loyal employees.

i wonder what can provoke an employer to do such a horrible and inhuman thing to their own people who are bringing the CEO’s bread and butter! What on earth can prompt such a ruthless exercise that can break a family’s peace in no time. Not everyone has two incomes, not everyone can sit at home and look for another job without a salary for a couple of months, they have loans, school fee, rents and many more liabilities which depend on the salary that they are getting. Suddenly you will unplug that very vein of life on which it sustains.

In my short experience in life, I have seen things coming around back to you as fast as you can imagine.Thinking that the CEO/HR head is now immune to the sacking game is a lame thing. Sacking from office is one thing, getting real life lessons from several other directions is how life takes back what you took back from others.

i am extremely pained at imagining the plight of those who have been thrown out and those dying in anticipation of being thrown out! Hope they get a new job as soon as possible and their lives get back on track. Such a ruthless employer can only wait for its bad times ahead. Very sad.

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