Ciao ’18!

2018 is almost was.

The year gave everything one can ask for in a human year. Immense pain, grief, happiness and exhilaration! What an year to remember!

I wish I didnt have to go through the sad parts but then the better parts wouldnt look as beautiful or as deserving as they do now. I wouldn’t have come across the real faces had it not been the difficult time I was going through. Reached a few milestones, like meeting my school friend after years of planning, even after being just 8 hrs away!

Making it to an institute of immense pride and yet feeling, do I deserve it? Have i done enough to take my life in the right direction? This one question will keep on bothering me till my next achievement.

Scolding my son a little more and realising a little more that he is growing at a rate faster than I can fathom! Already 8, just about 9 years more with me and he will be off to build his own sweet world, and I will be a minuscule part of it! Well, I guess I will be content to be a minuscule part of his life, wont i be tired of worrying, scolding and loving him for all these years! That will be year 2028 or so!

Let me come back to today! I am entering 2019 at a much more positive note than I did in 2018! Thank God for all the blessings in the form of my family and friends who stood with me and didn’t let me fall. And I hope everyone has such friends who have your back, no matter what! I do feel my son should have had a sibling, but when I look at the friends I have made, I am sure he will also be fine with his friends when he doesnt have me besides him.

What has not changed as I enter the new year is my constant worry whether am a good mother or not. Hope I become better and guide him better and make him a strong individual with a heart of Gold. Not sure if these two things exist together. But I hope it does for him, and he continues to be a sweetheart!

Enough of whining and pouring my heart out here!

Wishing all my readers the best of everything in 2019, be kind and be brave! Be good to people around, you never know what battle they are fighting!

God bless!

Ciao! Happy 2019 to one and all!!




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My love for Castles!

The moment I see an image of a castle, I google it, go into the history and admire its pics for a little longer.

Something about castles just fascinates me and makes me stop everything else before am done with my research! Today on my windows wallpaper I saw this Neuschwanstein Castle which even inspired Walt Disney. Here is a pic I picked from :

And this one from

And this from

Image result for Neuschwanstein Castle Winter

Isnt it a super dreamy castle surrounded by heaven!

More like Disney princess movies filled with a fantasy world!

I leave you at that and go back to admiring the image till I actually get to visit one!





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Lego craziness!

On my son’s 6th bday we got him the Lego Medium Creative Brick, Multi Color as we were buying the singular kits of iron man or fire extinguisher or some other smaller versions for such huge prices.

This box has been a constant entertainer for me too. How I love making just about anything and impressing my son 😉 lately he is so glued to the Lego Fire Ladder Truck, Multi Color as well as Iron man and Loki set which he keeps modifying whenever he gets hold of it.

Our next target is to get the entire fire station in place and make a decent size lego city with the medium box and other kits. I used to think my son wouldn’t really get back to lego but thank goodness he loves it as much as I do!

Here is the link to both the products we love so much!

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The bets we take!

I wonder how we put our bets on certain things and events in life and that becomes the centre of our survival.

I am pursuing something these days that will totally define my future, and yes its  a bet because I don’t even know whether things will turn in my favour. The fun lies in its mysteries, in preparing for all that I want to happen and simply continuing my efforts to achieve what I want to.

I know it would be a major heartbreak if events turn upside down, but then maybe there is another plan. I hope am able to think this straight if things do turn for the worse or not my way.

When your little son is all geared up for a life you have promised to him, you bet the stakes are pretty high. So fingers crossed, I hope I write next with further hopes and not rejection. And if there is rejection, I hope I write with some optimism for something other than but equally motivating to keep going!

Swinging between hope and despair…! Well, that’s life! I am happy I have hope!


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Deriving Happiness

When we face a challenge in life, we are told to stay strong, come what may. Especially women have to deal with the stay strong phrase. For men, its taken for granted. But no one quantifies how much is enough! When do you give up on the strength and behave like a human.

of course dwelling on problems doesn’t help anyone, increases it on more ways than one. There should be a place where you an go and blurt out all the frustration and get back your peppy self. Sometimes we don’t want to discuss anything with anyone, sometimes we want but the one who could give an ear and a shoulder isn’t available. And sometimes, its just too much to handle with a response.

I did hear about such organizations who just listen to you, that helps subside depression.

When I read the mythical scriptures and their derivations, it surprises me how we run towards money, fame and power. Instead of moving in, we try and move out for happiness. Again, that’s easier said than done.

Even sages have domesticated for their wives and children and left it only when the responsibilities were over. They knew they have to give it all up once the children are on their own, and their focus didn’t dwindle.

DO we have such a focus. And yet, do we need such a retirement from the world when we can still contribute. Ofcourse we should continue to be the mentor, counsel and guide just like the sages did as they taught the younger family members. Well, that’s how I derive the value out of the readings. I see Bill Gates as such a modern sage. He is into philanthropy, engages the young in innovations and has decided not to serve his entire wealth on a platter.

I am sure even Bill Gates has his share of problems and worries. Still, he continues with his efforts towards a better world. This makes me believe that to really serve the country, people, society, we must continue our efforts nevertheless. Our problems are not getting over until the last day, something will always be at the back of our mind to resolve and be sad about.

As they say, choose your battles. So we must. Happiness becomes relative at every moment.

Signing off!

Well, before I do, let me share my recent reads here:

Pashu – stories about how animals are significant in Indian Mythology. Very much engaging for children.

Sita – Ramayana from her eyes, moreso how she felt throughout the journey. This isn’t all about Sita though, it tells a lot more. Its a revision of what we know and introduction to what we don’t. The latter forms a big part of my reads as I discover a lot of philosophical views that match with mine, resonate with how I would interpret situations.

Writer: Devdutt Pattnayak

The links below are for


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The Amazing feeling called childhood!

Today, as always I went swimming with my son and asked him to practice well for the upcoming championship in his school.

Like any other child, he first plays in the pool for 15-20 minutes and then joins me (after a lot of reminders) for a session. Today he swam the fastest for his usual pace and was so thrilled that he had beaten himself in the race!

He was super happy to achieve this and exclaimed “I didn’t even know I could do this!”

As if he knows so much already! Such a beautiful expression for a lil grown up, 7 year old! I adore it when he admires his own achievements, and gets motivated to do his best.

Few months back I had put a poster in his room –

“Its Always Seems Impossible Untill Its Done”

I reminded him of this and also that he wrote this for me when I was preparing for an important exam just last month. How his quoting the quote had empowered me and made sure I didn’t give up before it was done!

He totally related to the quote at that moment on our drive back home. I hope he remembers it longer than today and keeps amazing himself with his cute hard work!




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A confused next gen?

As a child, I had really high hopes that when I am grown up, all the gender stereotypes would be over for good, there will be real equality for men and women, boys and girls. Alas! we are trying hard not to do away with it, rather embracing the stereotypes and adding more fuel to the fire.

I see more women working, and yet taking utmost care that the household chores are only their problem, they are earning and yet have nearly no say in decisions at home, they are making sure they go crazy with child care and office work all at the same time, to prove that we have it all! Or just because they don’t want to be a burden because they are working and because child care is primarily a mother’s job (or something like that).

I am also contributing to it. But I didn’t realize when I gave in and forgot about all the dreams I had against this bias even as a child. Now that my son is growing and I see him observing the roles played around by men and women, I fear even his generation wont do away with the biases. In fact, they will not know what to make of a working wife, whether she should be respected for her work, or be looked down upon for being a female. Whether she has any right over her own decisions, or the men must rule at every opportunity.

This isn’t feminism, or even if it sounds like it, so be it. The point is, we are doing grave injustice to our next generation by not mitigating the stereotypes that we are promoting. Women have their demanding jobs and yet they dont hesitate to keep the fasts that demand stringent rules to be followed, they take a back seat in the career when their better half could come forward and make it easier on her shoulders, she still has to tender to her inlaws and be the ideal one even if they have nothing good to say about her juggling all the responsibilities.

All this because women mostly have seen their ideals in their mothers. They have seen them adjusting to the society and keeping mum while performing their duties. Men might be having their share of struggles, keeping up with the egos of society, looking like a feminine personality while in the kitchen or while tending to their own children, and so on. Overall, its the women who face the setbacks, paycuts, and end of it be called the woman behind her successful husband. What about her own aspirations cut short by the people closest to her? Not by saying no, but by not saying yes to her dreams!

I am sure stories are different at many a places, but they are too few to be idolized and do away with the realities.

Its time we rethink our everyday conduct, women should come forward, speak up, the proverbial and literal sit at the table while decisions are made and if she feels neglected, she must speak up and get her dues. End of the day, our next generation is watching us and waiting to replicate it all when they grow into adults – responsible, irresponsible, respectful or otherwise, all depends on how we project ourselves to them, as a couple and as individuals.

Signing off – A very worried mother!!

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