Beating Anxiety!

My husband and his side of family is a big fan of anxiety. Most of the times there is no big reason behind an episode. Recently he had a bad phase when he had to take an exam for which he was more than prepared but his unconscious habit of getting anxious took over him and also over the better sense. To make it worse I wasnt with him in person and he had really bad 5 nights before the D-day.

We avoided the thought of taking sleep pills but that had to be resorted to so that next day was bearable after a full night’s sleep. Of course it was done on prescription, but that is besides the point. Exam went well, results came better and he cleared it with flying colours.

Now when he looks back at it, he himself is worried as to why he got so anxious that untill 2 in the night he couldnt sleep in those days. This wasnt the first time. Every time there is a big deal approaching and that calls for his preparedness, anxiety takes over to spoil it.

I on the other hand am 50% less anxious. Reading self help books and applying quite a good amount to my day to day life gets the credit for it. But it seems when anxiety is a hereditary gift, its very difficult to beat it. Today he wanted me to lecture his mom on the topic – how to beat the problem and how to address it before it eats you up. Conservatively I told her a couple of things that I keep telling my husband too.

1. Write down what you are worried about in question and answer format. If you can answer it, there is nothing to worry about. if you cant, then also nothing to be anxious about as it is not in your hand. Do your bit and wait for results.

2. Do what destresses you. Even if it looks silly to others. She has a good hand at drawing, so I suggested her to get a chart paper and start drawing and keep improving. Do social service that takes you away from your thoughts and makes you see what others are going through.

3. Count your blessings. There are 100s out there with much less than what you have achieved and what you are blessed with. Life’s good if you dont have to worry about your roof and food and closet!

4. Keep the glass down before you go to bed. Practice it. Everyday. Even if its a small worry, make sure you don’t sleep with that in mind. Carry it forward to next day when all you can do about it is worry and spoil your present.

5. Speak to someone about your problem so that it doesn’t kill you within.

There were my two cents on reducing stress and living a little better than average. My inspirations are Paul Coelho, Robin Sharma, Richard Carlson etc. IMproving everyday in the little things that I do to my life.

This quote sums it up well:

robin

Ciao!!!

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bugging Homeworks!

Now a days my son is really tired of everyday homework! So much so that he gets tired before we even open the notebooks.

I am not in favor of homeworks for his age, for him it should be more about experiencing new things by means of working out something like scrapbook, plays, etc.

Today he was particularly off, so I had to tell him that son I dont like the cooking that I do, but I do so you and all of us aint hungry! I stay at home so I can spend many more hours with you. Next minute we were hitting the homework notebooks.

I dont know what part of the above conversation touched his heart but something did, and i hope its all positive. Telling him that doing the HW will take him to space, make him taller, get him new toys and visiting the most beautiful places…all these have stopped working now! He tells me i dont want space anymore :)

Well, education systems differ and had I got any choice I would have chosen a more practical oriented school. Anyhow…his creativity is addressed at home with the n number of toys and paints and activities.

The saga will continue as long as home works exist…God bless the tiny hands!

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Son’s one liners

Few days back I was attempting to wake up my son for school. Most innocently he said:

my eyes are not opening.

next day he said:

they (eyes) are going down again and again!

well, I was amazed how clearly he expressed his state of mind and body! I had never thought of eyes in such a descriptive way!

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Bouts of emotion!!

Surabhi:

An emotional me writes again!!!

Originally posted on Of Cuddles and Cries:

Leaving tomorrow for reunion with husband. Have been staying with parents for a long time and now moving ou for good. I felt very sad whtile packing up everything that I could, emptying the closets and drawers. Taking with me all that I can.

Then I realised, this is the vicious circle we all are born into. Spending a lovely childhood with parents, then dreaming of making big for ourselves – freedom from parents’ nagging, landing a job or a career and marrying the one we love. Then comes the utmost realisation that in the process of dreaming, flying and settling down, we left behind our parents without a second thought that they will miss us so very much. Once we were the life of that house and suddenly it will be all lull for the parents.

I didnt realise it untill i myself became a parent. Today, it struck…

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Saying bye is so tough!

In few days I would be moving back with hubby after a gap of 40 days. Staying with parents is always taken for granted and when its time to leave, my heart keeps beating faster than ever, am sad deep within but it cannot be shared anywhere but here.

No wonder, I am happy to be getting back to the place I rule ;) At the same time, its difficult to say bye to the place where am treated like a princess and there is so much love! I will miss all the little worries that my father has every time i step out of home, every day! It makes me crazy for a few seconds that why does he have to worry about me even today. I went to hostel after high school, wonder how he must have sent me.

Well, recently i read this quotation: “Parenthood…It’s about guiding the next generation, and forgiving the last.”
Peter Krause

So true!! I am sure I am going to behave exactly like my father when my son grows up. Its an everyday battle to send your heart out there with strangers in the school. A battle that everyone goes through and one that will only end with you. Well, as much as we want our kids to leave us alone and let us be for a while, the very next moment we start missing them.

My son sends me to the Gym wholeheartedly when I know that deep within he is keeping a huge rock on his heart to let go his closest property that he thinks he owns forever :) When i come back, he hugs me as if I had gone for ages. That’s so reassuring, especially when you start having some good teary arguments with your toddler almost everyday! In 10 years the relationship will change and he will hate us for every tab we will try to keep. Lol!

So I am living each day with him and my parents as the most cherished day of our lives. Saying bye in a week will be absolutely heart breaking, I am sure life will quickly take over and we will all get back to our business. That is good and bad.

While i fight with my mixed emotions of being sad and thrilled to be back with hubby, my son cannot wait to start his packing! Vicious circle!

Ciao!

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My big boy turns 4!!

Yesterday 8th September was my son’s fourth birthday and this year my excitement fell much short of his own desire to feel the day in and to enjoy his gifts. 

On 31st we celebrated my dad’s birthday and we wished him at 12 in the night. This left an impression on my cutie that birthdays start in the night and he didn’t sleep u till we had a small cake cutting at 12 and he ate the cake to his full capacity. Blew the candle as soon as it was lighted and started cutting it how so ever he could. It was the cutest celebration with no hang ups! The one to be celebrated was celebrating in high spirits! 

Then came the morning with his dad who is currently away for some work. The moment my little champ woke up, he rushed to find if any gifts had arrived yet. Of course they were there all packed by me, waiting for his tiny hands to tear apart the freshly packed wrappers. The excitement in his eyes was so lovely. The gifts were chosen with him on the Internet so he knew what’s inside, except two of them. So the surprises did work well. He couldn’t wait to play with the knapford station and Thomas engine as also the new paper art work awaited his attention. 

Then came the cake of the day. We had to go to the hotel to pick it up for him. The cake was the. Umi Car in Police avatar, complete with all the three officers – Geo, Billy and Bot. Lately this is the series my son is glued to. So he was quite particular how he wanted the cake to be. Photo cake was a big no! He wanted the three characters for sure along with the car. Although I didn’t like the end result much, Arin bas quite thrilled and happy to see it. I could barely take the pics of untouched cake and he had started putting in the candle, then it was blown out as soon as I lighted it! Huh! 

Thats the beauty of kids and their innocence. They only care for what is true love and enjoyment. The fact that it was just the family – my parents and we three in attendance- makes it all the more a simple and most enjoyable experience for him. There was no rush to serve the cake to the guests, or to look after their snacking. All that mattered was my baby who was consciously breathing in his bday and will remember the minute details for next twelve months. 

Post cake cutting, we went to get his big gift, the cycle! Chose a sporty one for my champ. Then we went to a reserved forest to spot some animals so the day is etched into his memory for atleast few months till we visit the place again.

first we spotted was a Jackal and he wanted to know when will Green Jackal come! Other animals we saw were sloth bear, reindeer, turtles, and leopards. Also saw snakes kept in glass chambers which amused him so much. We were quite uncomfortable with the sights. Another benefit of being a child, you appreciate things as you not after an infinite analysis of how it can affect you in a negative manner. 

Well, the day was nearing an end when he gotto drive his cycle and felt quite happy about driving it! As we were getting ready to sleep, his question was Mumma why is my birthday getting over? Tears sit on the edge of a mother’s eye! They are waiting to drop at the slightest hint of cuteness and innocence. I felt so bad that the much awaited day came and went. It surely went with a lot of memories that we will cherish forever. 

Praying for a lovely fulfilled year ahead for my darling son. Amen!

Take care…ciao!

 

 

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in love with change!!

I am writing precisely after 2 months! Kept busy with the new life, embracing so many changes that took place in the last one month. Overall quite a happening, eventful month that was.

To begin with, moved to this beautiful, positive new home that has a lovely garden – a treat to my eyes every morning and evening! So much greenery around leaves you with lot of positive energy to take up everyday duties. it made everything new all the more acceptable. The new set of people, the otherwise boring city, and a new routine that is still sinking in as days pass by.

View from my room...a green start!

View from my room…a green start!

One most important change that me and my son were waiting for was his new school. With much thinking and after lots of analysis we put him in a relatively new school and I was not sure how he will adjust in his new surroundings. He was totally in love with his previous school and teacher so it came as a surprise to me when he adjusted almost immediately in this new set up. Initially i liked his teacher, but now i have my doubts on her philosophy in contrast to mine. I will stay put because my son is still enjoying his new environment, hope he continues to do so for another 9-10 months.

The other vital change in my lifestyle came right from day 1. That of taking care of the home, setting it up and starting the kitchen. Kitchen isn’t a place i love or care about. So started the new cooking regime only after a week of settling down with my belongings, we reunited after 2 years so i was pretty emotional in the unpacking process. Anyhow, the kitchen started and i have hired a cook who helps me out for both the big meals, excl the b/fast. Thank God for an understanding hubby, we rarely cook breakfast, its mostly corn flakes! So all i cook is the lunch box for my son, waking up early in the morning and getting him ready – all this used to look impossible for me since am a late night sleeper and waking up early in the morning used to be a dream so far!

So thankfully i have passed the messy phase of adjustments and new routines. Its feeling good to be in the new place after long, thanks to my lovely garden. I will post a pic soon.

Nxt week i travel again, back to my parents for a month. But this time i am going to miss my house and its beauty around a lot more than previous times. These are good signs and I wish they stay this way. Its almost like falling in love with life, again!

Ciao…stay blessed :)

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